How to Choose Non-Therapy Services for Autism

When you're working with autism therapy providers, you assume they are familiar with autism and competent in caring for kids who have it.  Non-therapy services, however, are a more difficult match to make. 

photo courtesy Phillip Pessar

 

With non-therapy services, this is the most important thing to remember:

You are not necessarily paying for the best quality service as much as you are paying for the best quality care.

What I mean by this is my boys may not have the best, top of the line haircuts in town, but they have the best barber shop in town.  We are never made to feel uncomfortable or looked down on.  The girls that work there all love us and know us.  Our barber has sat patiently through meltdowns, let her station become a mess for the sake of entertainment, blown bubbles, and done the best she could with scissor cuts for five years because our son can't tolerate the clippers.

What to look for in a...
Barber Shop/Haircut place, Dentist, Pediatrician, etc.

1. Pay attention to sensory friendly. 
Go there by yourself first and try to perceive the environment as your child would.  Ask yourself how loud is it?  What does it smell like?  How is the lighting?  Is it sensory friendly or obnoxiously "loud" in the décor? 

2. Call ahead and speak to whomever's in charge. 
Do not ask, "are you comfortable working with kids on the spectrum?" (who's going to honestly say no?).  Instead, ask, "do you currently work with kids on the spectrum?"  We were guinea pigs for many places and sometimes it was a total disaster even though the place said they would love to have us.  Don't be the guinea pig if you can avoid it.

3. Schedule your first appointment
Be sure to schedule the first appointment of the day on a day that you do not have anything else planned.  This is NOT the time to be multi-tasking and running multiple errands.  This appointment is the big thing of the day and will probably be all your child can handle.

4. Talk to your Child about it.
Pitch it to your child like this: "We're going to go meet some new friends tomorrow.  They're going to help us with your hair/teeth/health..."  Fill in the blank in the most peaceful way possible.  Let them know what to expect in as much detail as possible.  This is a fantastic time to read a kid's book on the subject (there are many good ones out there).  This is a also a great time for a social story.  A quick google search will give you many options.  Leave out anxiety ridden words like "cut."  Call the spray bottle "raindrops."  Get creative.  A good place will already have language like this in place and will use it.  Our dentist office sent home a whole page on "terminology" in our welcome packet.

5. Plan for the day
I save the ipad for days like this.  Pull out all the stops; bring all the favorites.  Plan a reward in advance: "After we meet the new dentist, we can...go out for chick-fil-a/go to Target to the dollar section to pick a toy." Fill in with your child's biggest motivator.  This is a reward for going - not performance.  Do not take this reward away - if the child even goes into the building, praise him.  Keep expectations very low and raise them slowly as you go more times.  Maybe the goal for the dentist the first day is to just meet the staff and dentist.  I don't think our oldest son got an actual dental check-up for the first three visits.  The staff told me "our first goal is just to get him comfortable being in the building, then with us, then in the chair before we actually do anything."  Genius.  That's why I love our dentist.  Go slow at first and you are less likely to get kickback.  To this day, the boys run into the dentist office and go right back without me with no problem. 

Another consideration is food.  Most of these places will have a bucket of candy on the way out.  We always bring our own suckers to the barber shop and doctors appointments.

Be honest with yourself and realize it might not go well and  be prepared.  Determine an "escape plan" before you go.  What if it's a disaster?  What steps will you take?  Before you do this, of course, you must decide what constitutes a "disaster"?  What is your child's (and your) cut off?  At the first grimace?  Or a full blown meltdown? I suggest you don't wait for a full blown meltdown.  Unless you are very new to autism, you probably know what happens with your child right before total meltdown.  Leave then.

6. Follow your mama instinct
I can tell within the first 30 seconds of being somewhere if it's "Rinna friendly."  I can sniff a fake from a mile away and have developed a good sense of whether or not we will actually be welcome in certain facilities. Even up until the day of the appointment, be prepared for to have to go back to the drawing board.

7. Be patient
If you have a good initial feel about the place but things don't go swimmingly right off the bat, be patient.  Give it a few more tries before you look around for a new place.  On the other hand, if it goes well, be prepared to be committed for the long haul.  Our kids need to know what to expect and once they can, they are very loyal customers :).

Most of these tips can also be applied to a child care provider, music lessons, sports, and other extracurricular activities.  Remember to put yourself in your child's shoes when searching for non-therapy service providers and you'll find a great fit!

What are your tips for the first day?